Simple Danish Newsletter #33

Hi friends,

Recently, I came across a presentation from Charlie Munger given to a graduating Harvard class titled “How to Guarantee a Miserable Life.” In his speech, he laid out a series of simple, actionable steps that will absolutely guarantee a miserable life and future.

While he wasn’t the first to approach advice in this manner (he was inspired by a speech by Johnny Carson), we think this approach is quite genius. By highlighting the path to failure, it becomes clear what to do instead—or perhaps more importantly, what not to do. In fact, thinking about what not to do is often more powerful than simply focusing on all the things you should start doing.

Take losing weight as an example. You could focus on eating healthier, learning to cook new meals, and exercising more, but you might get quite far towards your goal simply by removing some bad habits from your diet.

Though we are nowhere near as old and wise as the great Munger, we’ve decided to put together our own counterintuitive guide on how to fail at learning Danish.

How to Fail at Learning Danish in Only 7 Simple Steps

1. Focus solely on grammar

Grammar is the backbone of language. By starting with the most difficult and analytical parts first, you’ll never have to learn it later. Don’t bother with learning vocabulary for real-life scenarios or based on your interests. If your goal is to fail efficiently, burn out as fast as possible.

2. Never practice speaking

Why bother using the language in the real world? Don’t trouble yourself with pronunciation—your Danish knowledge should remain solely theoretical and confined to the written word. Avoiding pronunciation will also help you struggle to enjoy Danish music and movies.

3. Be afraid of making mistakes

Make sure everything you produce is flawless. It’s much better to write one perfect paragraph than a hundred imperfect ones. Your goal shouldn’t be to communicate but to avoid embarrassing yourself at all costs. Until you’ve mastered Danish grammar 100%, don’t attempt to speak or write anything. Fear of mistakes is the key to ensuring failure—keep it front and center.

4. Never review what you’ve learned

If it’s important, you would have remembered it, right? Don’t bother going back to topics you’ve already covered. You’ve already learned them, so what’s the point?

5. Don’t block out time for practice

Similar to the previous tip: if failing to learn Danish is a priority, don’t schedule any dedicated time to practice. Your practice should be spontaneous, with long, irregular breaks in between. Even better if you wait long enough to forget the previous topic entirely. You know the fable of the hare and the turtle? Aim to be the hare—postpone practicing until motivation strikes.

6. Cram as much as possible

When you finally decide to practice, don’t take any breaks. Cram grammar rules for hours until your brain feels fried—and then keep going! That’s the best way to ensure nothing sticks. Try practicing late in the day or even into the night to maximize sleep deprivation as well.

7. Learn everything alone

Learning Danish alone is perfect for failure. No one will help hold you accountable or motivate you to show up. Plus, it’s lonelier and much less fun this way—another bonus if your goal is to fail.

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By now, you should have a clear roadmap for how to fail at learning Danish in the most efficient and miserable way possible. But be warned! If you don’t follow our advice, it’s going to be very difficult to fail at learning Danish!

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Our Favourite Things ❤️

Idiom of the Week: Kært barn har mange navne

Literally: A dear child has many names

This idiom is used to express that someone or something well-loved or important can be known by many different names or terms of endearment (though it can also be used ironically). It’s often employed when people want to explain something complicated in simpler terms. You’ll hear it after listing different names or descriptions, followed by: kært barn har mange navne.

Example:

Person 1: “Sikke det regner. Det øser virkeligt ned.”

Person 2: “Det regner, det øser, det står ned i stænger. Kært barn har mange navne. Uanset hvad har jeg ikke tænkt mig at cykle hjem lige foreløbigt.”

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We hope you liked this week’s newsletter. As always don’t hesitate to reach out if you have comments, suggestions or otherwise have questions 😊

Kram fra,

Antonina & Rasmus

Denmark&Me